Late Night With Conan O'Brien, May 2006
, promoting The Break-Up.

- transcribed by Summer Thanks a lot.

CONAN: For 10 years, my first guest played "Rachel" on Friends, now she's starring with Vince Vaughn in the new movie, The Break-Up which opens next Friday--thrilled to have her here tonight! Please welcome, Jennifer Aniston!

(Jen comes out to the tune of "Isn't She Lovely", shakes hands with Conan, waves to audience, etc.)

CONAN: That's nice, that's good...

JEN:(notices something in the audience and looks surprised) Oh, Wow!

CONAN: That's...

JEN: Did you see that?

CONAN: That's very nice.

JEN: Very nice.

CONAN: Yeah, good to see you!

JEN:I feel like I just saw you.

CONAN: Yeah.

JEN: Déjà vu...

CONAN: Déjà vu all over again. We go everywhere together, you and I.

JEN: I know we do. Yeah.

CONAN: I've been stalking you.

JEN: Oh! (laughs)

CONAN: You look beautiful, though. You really do.

JEN: Thank you.

CONAN: It's funny because I've known you for a long time and I do this every night, but when you walk out I'm like,(waves hands wildly) "It's Jennifer Aniston!" You know?

JEN: (gives him an odd look and laughs)

CONAN: I become a little unprofessional.

JEN: You didn't do that!

CONAN: I did jump-up and down!

JEN: (waves hands) or that, no.

CONAN: Well, I do that a lot, it's...weird. Well, thanks for being here.

JEN: My pleasure!

CONAN: First of all, they got me tickets...I went and saw this movie, like, 2 days ago--very funny. You and Vince are very funny together, the 2 of you.

JEN: Thank you.

Conan: Yeah and I'm curious...the first thing I noticed when you 2 are on-screen together is--Is this the biggest height difference you've ever had with a co-star?

JEN: Oh, absolutely...no question. Yeah.

CONAN: Yeah.

JEN: I mean, he is the biggest man I've ever (comedic pause) worked with. (audience starts laughing and wooing at the hilarious pause)

CONAN: Yeah...what is he? He's....(turns to audience) these people disgust me, frankly! (Jen is smiling with this odd look on her face) I expected better from them...no, I mean he's very... I don't know if that...he must be... what is he...

JEN: 6'5.

CONAN: He's 6'5!

JEN: Yeah--and I'm 5'5, so that's about a foot.

CONAN: Right, right, right, yeah. (Jen looks as if she wants to laugh. Perhaps because he just keeps saying 'right'?) So, that's 6'5 and I'm about 6'4.

JEN: You are 6'4?

CONAN: I'm 6'4 and a little bit, but (points to his hair) I get this other little bit--

JEN: You get extra!

CONAN: Sometimes, yeah...

JEN: You've got an added...what? 2... 2 and a half.

CONAN: Like 3 feet. Yeah.

JEN: Yeah!

CONAN: And when threatened like other males, it rises! (Jen and audience laugh) It comes up and they back down...I'm like a rooster, that way...um, yeah I would think that would just get, uh, you know to be with someone who's that much taller than you.

JEN: Yeah.

CONAN: You throw your neck out.

JEN: You throw your neck out, you just get stronger--well, never mind about that, but...yeah. High heels.

CONAN: High heels help, yeah. Now, I was curious...now this, this was on my mind when I saw the movie is that it's...it's shot, like, Chicago is almost a character--

JEN: It is, it absolutely is.

CONAN: It's so much apart of the film. We just did a week of shows in Chicago, so I was just immersed in that world. I don't know how you felt-

JEN: Didn't you love it?

CONAN: Absolutely love that town--no offense to New York --

JEN: No, New York...

CONAN: But, Chicago...

JEN: No, there's nothing, I mean it's New York, come on! This is our city...but, there's something about Chicago. It's bizarre, 'cause it's like, you're in a city and there's a beach right there.

CONAN: Right, right...

JEN: You know, it's like when you'd go to the Hudson and there'd be a beach and it...doesn't it look like the beach in Jaws? Doesn't it look like fake...You notice that?

CONAN: It has a very christine white

JEN: Yes, it's like small...those little white, lifeguard, um, towers...

CONAN: Right, right.

JEN: And it looks like Jaws.

CONAN: The other thing that just, that blew me away, was the food!

JEN: Oh, the food, forget it!

CONAN: It's crazy!

JEN: Yeah.

CONAN: I don't know what you were eating while you were there...

JEN: Everything.

CONAN: Everything?

JEN: Uh...well, you know there's those great deep-dish pizzas, which are so great, but I, personally, um, and I didn't get enough of it, because I sort-of discovered it toward the end of my trip, but, was Weiner's Circle.

CONAN: Weiner's Circle is very famous there. It's not...it's a hot dog joint...

JEN: They yell at you!

CONAN: Oh, they...

JEN: You go there to be yelled at...like, they yell at the customers--Anybody from Chicago? (a few people clap) Know at all...(turns to some random couple who clapped) You know Weiner's Circle?

Couple: No.

JEN: Oh! (Conan is laughing hysterically. Jen looks stunned.) But, isn't that like the---

CONAN: You picked the two vegans from Chicago! (Jennifer laughs, Conan in a deeper voice) We are against that kind of food. We eat soy dogs. We live in a TP by the river. What are you talking about?! (Jennifer seems to find this incredibly funny) Um, well I ate--

JEN: What did you eat? Steak?

CONAN: I ate ribs. I love ribs.

JEN: Yeah.

CONAN: And what I love about them is that you just become a child..

JEN: Yeah.

CONAN: I went to this place, Twin Anchor. I think I went there, like, 3 times(turns back to that couple) You know Twin Anchor?

COUPLE: No.

CONAN: Who are you people?!

JEN: You're not from Chicago!!

CONAN: You know what? We're talking about the Chicago that's in Illinois!

JEN: What Chicago are you talking about? Seriously, where are you from in Chicago? I mean, where--what part?

CONAN: This is where they run away.

COUPLE: From the suburbs.

JEN: Oh, from the suburbs?

CONAN: Oh, from the suburbs. Okay, have you heard of McDonald's? (everyone laughs and the couple claps) They're a sponsor, aren't they Jeff? (gives the Thumbs-Up sign) hehe! (turns to Jennifer) I just made us both $80!

JEN: (laughs and turns back to couple) You should go to Weiner's Circle. I'm telling you, it's unreal.

CONAN: Here's the problem I think you would have...

JEN: What's that?

CONAN: Is that they, uh, I mean the press is always focused so much on you, don't they like write about what you eat when you go to a restaurant. Like, Jennifer Aniston was here and she ate this or she ate that, do you know what I mean?

JEN: Yeah, that happened a couple times. Not...the classier restaurants don't do that(gives the camera a look). Uh, but, so, you know, the ones that, I guess, for, need a little publicity will want to tell you that, "And then at the end there was a cheesecake ordered." Which, even if you didn't order that they'd write it, anyway.

CONAN: Right. I had this weird experience, where--they obviously don't focus on me as much as they do on you...

JEN: Well...

CONAN: And they will someday if I attain my goals.(laughter) But, what's weird for me is that the few times I've been mentioned, they use these words...it'll just be, like, I stopped off somewhere and I got a bagel and it says, "Conan scarfed down a bagel!" (Jen laughs) or you know, it's like I stopped off for ribs and, "Conan shoved down some ribs." They always put this word in there that, this verb or something, that makes me sound like a cave man.

JEN: Like a cave man!

CONAN: Yeah. Like I'm just going into restaurants going, "More food! AHHH!" It's frightening.

JEN: It's frightening, yeah...

CONAN: And true. I do eat like Fred Flinstone. Uh, we're gonna take a quick break.

JEN: Okay.

CONAN: More with Jennifer Aniston in just a second.

--COMMERCIAL BREAK--

(The audience is clapping and Jen is saying something like, 'You should put some pillows up here' )

CONAN: We'll get you a pillow. You are like the, I think the 5th guest in two weeks to complain about that chair!

JEN: Well, here's the deal: It's just, it's not comfortable. You just...you need a pillow, 'cause look, I can't even...touch my feet. I'm not that short.

CONAN: We just went to Crate-N-Barrel and bought this thing.

JEN: Really?

CONAN: Yeah--And which is a FINE store. Another sponsor.

JEN: Ha! Oh, really, look at you. One after the other! What else do ya want?

CONAN: I think Ford makes an amazing car. Um, I wanna ask you--I was reading up on you today...

JEN: Were ya?

CONAN: Yeah, I was...

JEN: Readin' up.

CONAN: I was reading up on ya.

JEN: 'I was readin' up on ya...'

CONAN: You've done some crazy stuff in your time....but you talked in one interview about doing something which I'd never heard you really discuss before, which is, you used to like to play pranks when you were in supermarkets and I was thinking, it just--you know, it doesn't sound like you. What kind of stuff did you do in supermarkets?

JEN: Well, here's...huh, it sounds like, this is how much time we had on our hands! Um, well my girlfriends and I would do it just to each other. You know, doing our groccery shop for the week and you'd just try to slip-in some ridiculous...whether, it's like sweet breads or tongue or something just disgusting that they would never eat and then we just started doing it to strangers for some reason 'cause we were bored and it was awful...

CONAN: You'd take a weird product and drop it...

JEN: Just some really strange, obscure item whether you go, you know they have a houseware section and you just put plates and silverware and stuff like that and then you just get up to the front of the...of, the cashiers and watch them go through the check-out line and for some reason it was utterly entertaining.

CONAN: It'd be funny if you were still doing that now.

JEN: Yeah...but, there was people that would get pissed-off and were, ya know, outraged when they saw tongue or something they would never, ya know, put in there...

CONAN: Right, well, ya know these vegans right here would never put up with that.

JEN: Right. I apologize.

CONAN: I like to do that in jewlery stores. Put really expensive jewlery in people's pockets and then watch them get arrested. It's just fun for me. Ruin their lives.(Jen laughs)

CONAN: Now, we have a clip here from The Break-Up and I don't think you need much set-up because this is you and Vince's character meeting--

JEN: Oh. Wrigley Field.

CONAN: In Wrigley Field, yeah. Okay. Good.

CONAN: And, so and...and, first of all....I'll ask you afterwards, we'll show the clip and then 'cause I just have a few questions 'cause I still don't know how movies work. But, I think that's all you need to know, right--

JEN: That's all. It's just how they meet.

CONAN: Alright, let's take a look at a clip from The Break-Up.

(clip from The Break-Up, scene at Wrigley Field)

CONAN: It's so good. Great, first of all to shoot a scene at Wrigley Field.

JEN: Unbelievable. I have to tell you, though, I didn't--I never saw a game.

CONAN: You never saw a game! Now, see I saw this and I thought, 'Now, how do you shoot this in Wrigley Field?' But, I'm such an idiot, I guess--

JEN: You're not an idiot, Conan.

CONAN: It'll tell you some other stuff.

JEN: It's movie magic. No, we had 2 days of shooting and the one day was just a lot of extras and us and then there was the day where they had a game. That's all it is.

CONAN: Well...had me fooled.

JEN: Got him!

CONAN: I'm easily fooled. I'm still wondering, 'How did they do it in that movie Bambi?' Stuff's happenin' and how does it all work? But, one of the things that's so cool about that scene is, Vince's character, I think he's one of the few guys who can get away with it, but he's picking you up while you're with another guy.

JEN: Another guy!

CONAN: You're with your boyfriend and he's picking you up right there and he makes it seem possible. In my life, that would have never been possible.

JEN: You'd get, like, a slap or something.

CONAN: I would be...yeah, everyone would be slapping me! Uh, I wouldn't even attempt it, I mean I don't have that kind of nerve. I mean, he's talking to you across, like, 15 other people. But, he pulls it off.

JEN: Yeah, he does.

CONAN: Girls like that, they like that nerve, don't they?

JEN: (pauses) Well, that depends. (Conan starts to laugh) It really does depend..

CONAN: That's very smart that you said that, 'cause you don't wanna get, like...

JEN: No, I don't want to encourage that behavior!

CONAN: 'Cause there are a lot of guys that are like (you have to watch this scene, I can't explain it, except that Conan looks and sounds so strange! Basically, he's acting over the top nerdy) 'Well, then I'll be nerdy too! JENNIFER! JENNIFER! A HOT DOG!' (Jennifer is laughing ridiculously hard) Yeah, I'm sorry. You shouldn't see that close-up.

JEN: Don't do that!

CONAN: I'll never do that again!

JEN: Conan, never! But, but people do do...there are people that do have a way of doing that. I don't know how.

CONAN: Yeah, yeah. It's a lot of self-confidence. The Break-Up opens next Friday and I know you're very busy. Thanks for making time for us!

JEN: Thank you for having me.

CONAN: Always nice to see you on the show. Jennifer Aniston!