Announcer: Up next, one of Ellen's favorite friends talks about the new movie Friends with Money: Jennifer Aniston. 
 

Ellen: Not only is our first guest one of the biggest stars in Hollywood, she's also one of the most gracious. Her new movie Friends with Money opens today, please welcome my friend Jennifer Aniston. (music stars to play as Jennifer walks out; before walking on stage she wipes off her shoes at the doormat; she and Ellen hug and then sit down while the crowd cheers)

Ellen: Hi, hon.

Jennifer: Hi.

Ellen: Aw, you look fabulous, as always.

Jennifer: Thank you.

Ellen: Fantastic. Did you see the roller coaster thing?

Jennifer: I did. (laughs)

Ellen: Have you been on one lately?

Jennifer: (still laughing) No. I haven't in a long time.

Ellen: Would you go on one?

Jennifer: I think... I'm afraid I might die. (audience laughs)

Ellen: Oh. No, you won't die. I, oh... I don't know why I did it because it really is frightening. But I encourage you to do it.

Jennifer: You do?

Ellen: Yeah.

Jennifer: Okay, maybe we can all go and do it. Together.

Ellen: We should. Yeah, we should all go and ride some really... er, I went on it twice, actually. Right after that.

Jennifer: You looked like you were having a ball. (laughs with audience)

Ellen: No, no. That was fear. That was total fear. (Jen screams, imitating Ellen)

Jennifer: Was that real screams?

Ellen: Oh, oh... non-stop. I could not stop screaming. (Jen screeches)

Jennifer: Even that little like (screeches again) one?

Ellen: Oh, yeah. That was not... because you see what you're about to do. There's a circle that you're about to go completely... and over and over again.

Jennifer: Circles aren't what scares me. It's the tick, tick, tick, tick, tick... all the way, all the way, all the way and then (motions with her hands) that some sort of inhuman kind of drop that spirals...

Ellen: No, it's just tick, tick, tick, tick... (motions with her hand) BOOM!

Jennifer: That was Colossus a hundred years ago.

Ellen: Oh, no. This shoots you up so fast and then there's no where to go but upside down It's frightening, but do it.

Jennifer: Why do we do this to ourselves? (audience laughs)

Ellen: I don't know. I did it because, well, the cameras were there and they encouraged me to and er... (Jen and audience laugh) and then I could not stop. But...

Jennifer: Did you feel, like... younger?

Ellen: No, I feel older, actually. (audience and Jen laugh) But when do you get to scream that much, you know what I mean? (Jen picks up her coffee mug) Like I've never screamed non-stop for 3 minutes like that.

Jennifer: Well...

Ellen: Yeah... (starts to laugh) You scream that much? (audience laughs) Never mind, maybe you have lately.

Jennifer: Let's not talk about that. (audience and Ellen laugh while Jen leans back and smiles) We're not gonna go there. (audience keeps screaming and tried to wipe them off with her hand, looking slightly embarrassed to have said it out loud)

Ellen: But... in a joyous thrilling way, I mean.

Jennifer: Yes. Without like... the exhilaration of just movement.

Ellen: Yes, it's a different way... (they both start to laugh again) Not just standing out of me, I'm holding on to a chair, Jennifer, not screaming like that.

Jennifer: No, we're moving.

Ellen: You're actually moving.

Jennifer: Fast.

Ellen: Here's something that's odd: You're on a cover of a magazine.

Jennifer: (pretends to be "shocked") What?!

Ellen: Yeah, it's ... (audience laughs) It's so weird to see you on the cover of a magazine. But you're beautiful and you're on the cover of Vogue and ehm... (audience cheers) You do it all. (shows one picture with Jennifer in a red dress) Look how graceful you're hanging ... the rings are very difficult to do and yet you're hanging with such grace. (audience laughs)

Jennifer: Hah, I know! I know... I was training for the Olympics, you know.

Ellen: (laughs) Yeah. And the bars. Look, you're just holding this...

Jennifer: You missed the flip. They missed that. Right after... they didn't get that shot.

Ellen: You did a flip?

Jennifer: I did a really good er... dismount

Ellen: Those are great. It's Mario...

Jennifer: Mario Testino.

Ellen: ... Testino, yeah. Beautiful pictures.

Jennifer: Thank you, Ellen.

Ellen: They didn't have time to dry your hair in the next one. (shows picture) Still wet. (audience laughs) But anyway, you look fantastic. And you look happy.

Jennifer: I am.

Ellen: And you had a birthday recently.

Jennifer: Yeah.

Ellen: I'm sorry I couldn't make it or maybe you didn't call but (Jen acts like, 'Yeah, yeah yeah' ... and audience laughs)

Jennifer: Damn.

Ellen: No, and I... you know, I love McDonald's, too. (audience laughs) I read that er... you actually ordered McDonald's for everybody.

Jennifer: That's what I heard, too. (audience laughs) That I... that all my friends came over, like 7 of my friends came over around midnight and we ordered in McDonald's. And it was like... because they couldn't find out where we had actually gone, that's what they wrote. (audience laughs) They sort of... they saw a couple of my girlfriends coming back after, you know, dinner and ... not at McDonald's, and that's the best they could do, come up with.

Ellen: You've probably sprung for the Olive Garden or something.

Jennifer: You know me.

Ellen: So, this is something else. I don't know whether to believe or not.

Jennifer: What?

Ellen: I haven't talked to you about it yet. There are supposed rumors of the Friends cast getting back together; I don't know what to do, you know. Like a movie or a show or... just hang out. But there is a reunion?

Jennifer: Where did you hear that? Ellen?

Ellen: My producers. (audience laughs)

Jennifer: Where do they get this information?

Ellen: I don't know. So it's not true?

Jennifer: No! I don't mean to say that with look of "Ugh" on my face but... (audience laughs and Jen changes her face to a "sad" one and says it all nicely) Nooo.

Ellen: But you did.

Jennifer: No! Noo... (audience laughs) No. That's not gonna happen now.

Ellen: No? Not now?

Jennifer: I don't think ever. (to audience) Who would want that, really? (audience cheers)

Ellen: And you sold your house which I...

Jennifer: Not to youuu...

Ellen: Not to me. I love that house so much.

Jennifer: I know.

Ellen: You know that. I love the house but it was just not the right house.

Jennifer: I know.

Ellen: But now you gotta find a house.

Jennifer: I do. I need a house. You're so good at that, though. You find house like that. (makes 'click' sound with her fingers)

Ellen: I do. I love houses.

Jennifer: You love real estate. It's your hobby, isn't it?

Ellen: Have you found anything yet?

Jennifer: No, I'm looking like crazy. Will you help... I mean seriously, do you know anything; those pocket-listings or however you call them? 

Ellen: I call them postulates

Jennifer: Pasta lickings ?

Ellen: I call them pasta lickings, Yes. (Jen makes really weird and/or funny laughing sound) And you know what I will do? This Sunday, you and I will go to open houses.

Jennifer: Okay.

Ellen: That will be great. (Jen looks all excited and audience laughs) No, but I do have my ears and eyes open.

Jennifer: That's fantastic. You really do, don't you?

Ellen: Yes, I'm gonna help you find something. Alright? I'm serious.

Jennifer: I believe you.

Ellen: I'm not kidding. I'm gonna find you a nice house.

Jennifer: Ugh, I'm so excited.

Ellen: You should be.

Jennifer: When are you doing this?

Ellen: I'm working on it as we speak.

Jennifer: Okay.

Ellen: Alright. (audience laughs) But let's really... you and I go to open houses this Sunday.

Jennifer: Okay, it'll be fun. We'll get coffee and put gas in our car, and go to an open house.

Ellen: Looking at houses.

Jennifer: And walk.

Ellen: Yes. We're going into a break now and do that, too. We'll be right back.  
 

Announcer: Still ahead: Ellen helps Jennifer Aniston to solve her housing problem.  
 

[clip from Friends with Money] 
 

(Olivia is kind of stretching at a counter until a man shows up behind it)

Man at the counter: Hi, can I help you with something?

Olivia: I think so. Ehm, I'm looking for this lotion; I saw it in a magazine. Can't remember the name.

Man: Resolution?

Olivia: Maybe, I think so. Anyway, they said you were giving out samples. (man puts sample of "Resolution" on the counter; it's a really tiny sample)

Olivia: Oh, is that it? (looks at it) Thank you. You know what? Ehm, could I get one for my girlfriend? She had asked...

Man: Not a chance. (Christine, played by Catherine Keener, shows up behind Olivia)

Olivia: Hi! You're early.

Christine: Yeah, I had to get away from my stupid husband.

Olivia: (to the man) See, this is my girlfriend. Give her a sample. (man hands her a sample)

Christine: Thanks.

Man: You're welcome. 
 

[end of the clip] 
 

(audience applauds) 
 

Ellen: We're back with Jennifer Aniston. That's a clip from Friends with Money. I saw it last night. You're amazing in it; I love it. You're so good, you're so good.

Jennifer: Thanks.

Ellen: This is so different from... I think this is very different from... well, in The Good Girl you were very different also. I think it's a whole different role for you. (Jen uh-huh's throughout Ellen's 'speech') And you play a maid.

Jennifer: I do.

Ellen: Now, do you like to do things like that? Are you good at, like... Do you make your own bed?

Jennifer: I do make my own bed. I like to have my bed made. I don't like a messy bed; I don't like a dirty kitchen...

Ellen: I don't understand. When you ... you get back into it at night, so why make it? (audience laughs)

Jennifer: That was my thought as a kid when my mom would say, 'You've gotta clean your room.' And I say, 'But why? I'll just get it messy again.' She'll say, 'well, you'll appreciate it one day.'

Ellen: Are you a clean person?

Jennifer: Yeah.

Ellen: Me too. I love... but bed-making I don't like. Don't like that. But have you ever done anything like that? What's ... have you done weird jobs like that?

Jennifer: Well, I've had many weird jobs. I cleaned... that's how I made my allowance was cleaning my house. The whole house, it wasn't just like 'Take out the garbage.' I had to clean the whole damn house.

Ellen: The whole house?

Jennifer: Yes.

Ellen: Every day? Like windows?

Jennifer: Not every day. Twice a week. Windows... yeah, inside. I mean, I was on the 21^st floor on a high ride in NYC, so getting outside ... You know, my mom wasn't that nuts. (audience laughs)

Ellen: Like on those platforms...

Jennifer: Outside, kid! So, I er... but yeah, I loved it. And then I did stupid... I started waitressing, I was a bike messenger, I did telemarketing.

Ellen: Where were you a bike messenger?

Jennifer: NYC.

Ellen: You were?

Jennifer: Yeah, not for very long because trust me, I was not very good at it. (audience laughs) It's hard to hold a lot of male and... calendars and ride a bike.

Ellen: That's dangerous. That's really dangerous.

Jennifer: Yeah, and I don't know if more for myself or for the drivers.

Ellen: So they made you stop, the drivers.

Jennifer: Yeah, they stopped me.

Ellen: Okay, we have to take another break and when we come back I have a big surprise for you.

Jennifer: What on earth?

Ellen: Yeah, it's gonna be exciting. I think you're gonna like it.

Jennifer: Is it a hou-hou... (she's afraid to say the whole word, it seems)

Ellen: Well, it could be. We'll be right back. (Jen looks all excited now) 
 

Announcer: Up next, Ellen has a special surprise for the currently homeless Jennifer Aniston.  
 

Ellen: We're back with Jennifer Aniston, talking about houses. I'm trying to find her a house. And er... just follow me, okay? (stands up)

Jennifer: Oh, okay.

Ellen: Because you need something, right?

Jennifer: Right, I do. (stands up)

Ellen: I mean, this is ...

Jennifer: This is unreal.

Ellen: It is. It's not... this is not, like... long-term but this is just until we find something for you.

Jennifer: Oh, I see. Temporary.

Ellen: But for now you're gonna need something. (they are now walking backstage) Right?

Jennifer: Right, yeah. No, I really do.

Ellen: So we're just gonna take a little walk. This would be so convenient because...

Jennifer: This is so kind of you.

Ellen: Yeah. And you could come visit me whenever you want.

Jennifer: Aww... you're so nice.

Ellen: Well, besides... that's what friends are for. Let's sing it.

Jennifer: Oh, I'm so excited. What's gonna happen?

Ellen: Yeah, well. My, of course, dressing room, is right here. And I'm here a lot.

Jennifer: I know.

Ellen: So, if you want... I know you like to hang out and stuff like that.

Jennifer: I do, I like to hang out.

Ellen: And here we go. (Jen giggles all excited) This is gonna be very exciting. Alright, now, again... temporary. Here's a welcome mat, you gave me one. (Jen gasps) Alright, and what we have here is...

Jennifer: Is that a closet?

Ellen: Not yet. (camera points at sign on a door) Jennifer Aniston Suite, April 7, 2006

Jennifer: Oh my Gosh.

Ellen: Okay, come on in. (Ellen opens door and they walk in; we see a fully decorated room and a stunned Jen) And this is just home away from home for a little while. Look what we have, there's candles, and we have some salt and margarita mix and tequila.

Jennifer: There's so much booze!

Ellen: And you know, you don't have to drink it all, you'll have friends over.

Jennifer: I'd like to have that.

Ellen: And of course movie posters, and fans have sent me some lovely photos. This I'm not sure, I think it's me. And of course (Jen gasps the whole time) we have some, I know you love chips and guacamole.

Jennifer: This isn't sprayed with anything, is it?

Ellen: No, this is fine. We have some pajamas for you with your initials on them.

Jennifer: Oh my God, Norman!

Ellen: Here's a picture of Norman. And look what we have for Norman.

Jennifer: What on earth?

Ellen: We have a little...

Jennifer: That's my Friends cast!

Ellen: And a high school picture, and this is you and I. (picture of Ellen's first show with Jen is shown) And we have that thing for Norman. (steps leading up to a sofa is what Ellen's referring to)

Jennifer: Aw, that's adorable.

Ellen: Yes, right? And then some bowls and some artwork.

Jennifer: I don't... (giggles) That's insane, people.

Ellen: Now, I don't know if you like Alize . . .

Jennifer: I mean, you really didn't have to do this. (sits down on the sofa, eating chips)

Ellen: Well, listen. You hang out.

Jennifer: You really didn't. (makes herself comfortable on the sofa)

Ellen: Cause I have a ... if you need to make any phone calls...

Jennifer: I can use that? (looks at the phone beside the sofa)

Ellen: ... on us.

Jennifer: And you're right down the hall.

Ellen: Right down the hall. You hang out here.

Jennifer: That's so cool.

Ellen: Friends with Money opens in select theaters today and we're gonna be right back with Scott Foley. Don't go away. (Jen turns back to Jennifer again and Jen has her arms stretched out for a hug; they can't reach other, so Jen gets up from the sofa and they hug) 
 

(cut to Ellen back on the actual set) 
 

Ellen: I wanna thank my guests Jennifer Aniston and Scott Foley for being here and on Monday Angelica Huston and Justin Chambers (phone rings) from Grey's Anatomy are gonna be here. Hold on, I'm sorry. (picks up the phone) Hello?

Jennifer: Ellen?

Ellen: Jennifer?

Jennifer: Yeah, hi, it's me.

Ellen: Hey, Jennifer.

Jennifer: Hey, listen. You're just about finished, right? With the show?

Ellen: I'm doing the show... well, yeah. I'm just about finished.

Jennifer: Yeah, okay. I'm sorry, I thought you were done. But I'm having a little gathering here, a little house-warming. And if you wanna come over, come over.

Ellen: Right now?

Jennifer: Yeah!

Ellen: Yeah, I was just... you can't just call whenever you want but... I'm gonna end the show and then I'll be there in a minute. I'll come visit.

Jennifer: Please do.

Ellen: You're already having a party?

Jennifer: Yes!

Ellen: (laughs) Okay. I'll see you in a minute. (hangs up)

Jennifer: Bye.

Ellen: (takes a bowl of something with her and starts walking backstage again) This is so weird. Can't believe she's already having a party. So soon. She doesn't waste any time. So excited I'm gonna be invited to Jennifer's party, I've never been invited to one of Jennifer's parties before. (she's reached the suite) And there's a bean dip!

Jennifer: (notices Ellen's gift) You didn't need to do that.

Ellen: Yeah, well. I was hoping I'd be invited. And when you invite me... I didn't know you'd be having a party so fast. (lots of little comments are made) Thanks!

Jennifer: Thanks for coming! These are my friends. (points at them and the camera moves to them)

Ellen: And Scott! (Scott Foley is there as well and says "Cheers, I was just walking by.")

Jennifer: Yeah, I just invited him over. And there's Steven, you know Steven, and Mary, and Chris (introduces some other people and when Ellen notices Chris McMillan there, she hugs him and kisses him on the cheek)

Ellen: This is so much fun! I've never been invited to one of your parties before. (all excited) I'm at Jennifer's party! Alright, on Monday... Angelica Huston is gonna be here and we'll see you then. Have a great weekend, everybody!