JACF

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Photographs

Filmography

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Jennifer Aniston Movie Quotes

Leprechaun

Tory: That thing is a leprechaun and we've got to figure out how to stop it!

Tory: Nathan, that was no fucking bear.

Dream for an Insomniac

coming up soon

She's the One

Renee Fitzpatrick: Francis, I cannot remember the last time I saw your penis.

Picture Perfect

Kate Mosley: I can be a "bad" girl for you Sam.
Kate Mosley: We had sex mommy! The really dirty kind!
Kate Mosley: Sam, you're always going to be the guy at the restaurant, who, when he gets what he ordered, decides he wants what the other guy has instead.

Rita Mosely: I want a grandchild.
Kate Mosley: Well, Ma, you'll be happy to know that I am looking into having some eggs frozen.
Rita Mosely: Wonderful. I can tell everyone I'm having a grandsicle.

Kate Mosley: I like men, men like me... but then somewhere in the last year or so, I've just gotten so screwed up.
Kate Mosley: I don't want to date you, I don't want to marry you, I don't want to have kids with you, I just want to break up with you.

The Object of My Affection

Nina: Don't open the door for any gas men. Unless you think either one of us would be interested.
Nina: I like guys a lot, but I'm not going to waste my time with some guy that doesn't see things the way I do... I mean do you really need this guy?
Nina: I want you to be with me, I want you to marry me, I want you to love me the way that I love you.
Nina: You don't tell a woman that you love her and then two days later bring Romeo over to sleep with him.
Nina: You have to pick one person and make it work.
Nina: Freud didn't know dick about women.

Rodney Fraser: Have you noticed that you're the only practicing heterosexual at your Thanksgiving dinner?
Nina Borowski: I haven't practiced for a while.

Nina: I want to look at you and not feel so hurt by you.
Nina: Head up young person.

Office Space

Joanna: How dare you judge me? Look at you. You're just some penny-stealing... criminal... man.
Joanna: Why don't you call me when you grow up! Wait a minute, that will never happen, so why don't you just not call me, yeah...

Joanna: You know what, Stan, if you want me to wear 37 pieces of flair, like your pretty boy over there Bryan, why don't you make the minimum 37 pieces of flair?
Stan, Chotchkie's Manager: Well, I thought I remembered you saying that you wanted to express yourself.
Joanna: You know what, I do want to express myself, okay. And I don't need 37 pieces of flair to do it.
[flips off Stan]

The Iron Giant (voice)

Annie Hughes: Strange. He's so tight-lipped now, and yesterday he wouldn't stop talking. I mean, hundred-foot robots and whatnot.
Annie Hughes: [to other waitress in background] So, he wants us to hold the mustard and the mayo. How about just hold the flavor altogether?

Annie Hughes: Hogarth, we've got to rent a room this year if we're gonna make ends meet, and no one wants to live in a place with shredded upholstery.
Hogarth Hughes: You'll never know he's there. I'll keep him in a cage...
Annie Hughes: ...until you feel sorry for him and set him free in the house. You remember the raccoon, Hogarth? [Shudders] Annie Hughes: Oooooh! I remember the raccoon.

Rockstar

Emily: Oh no no... I could make you a pair of those. But first you gotta tell me what you shove in there to make people think you're a guy.
Emily: Rob, I'm a business woman, and rule number one in this business is you go where the talent is... and all the fucking talent that was in this band has just left the room!

The Good Girl

Justine: After living in the dark for so long, a glimpse of the light can make you giddy. Strange thoughts come into your head and you better think'em. Has a special fate been calling you and you not listening? Is there a secret message right in front of you and you're not reading it? Is this your last, best chance? Are you gonna take it? Or are you going to the grave with unlived lives in your veins?
Justine: As a girl you see the world as a giant candy store filled with sweet candy and such. But one day you look around and you see a prison and you're on death row. You wanna run or scream or cry but something's locking you up. Are the other folks cows chewing cud until the hour comes when their heads roll? Or are they just keeping quiet like you, planning their escape.
Justine: Like sitting on my couch with your big blue ass. Everything just turns to shit. You finally get nice things, then everything just gets messed up.
Justine: I went to the doctor. He says I'm fertile. He says I could repopulate the entire planet.
Justine: I hate everyone here. I hate Gwen. I don't know what the hell she's so happy about. I'm sorry I don't understand why maniacs get shotguns and shoot everybody to pieces.
Justine: Is this your last best chance? Or are you going to your grave with unlived lives in your veins?
Justine: How it all came down to this, only the Devil knows. Retail Rodeo is at the corner on my left. The motel is down the road to my right. I close my eyes and try to peer into the future. On my left, I saw days upon days of lipstick and ticking clocks, dirty looks and quiet whisperings. And burning secrets that just won't ever die away. And on my right, what could I picture? The blue sky, the desert earth, stretching out into the eerie infinity. A beautiful never-ending nothing.
Justine: That day I read the story Holden had wrote for me. It was kinda different from the other ones but kinda the same. It was about a girl who was put upon, whose job is like a prison, and whose life has lost all meaning. Other people don't get her, especially her husband. One day she meets a boy who is also put upon and they fall in love. After spending their whole lives never getting got, with one look they get each other completely. In the end the girl and the boy run away together into the wilderness, never to be heard from again.
Justine: Holden gave me two of his stories to read. It was more like the story of what a story would be. It was about a boy who was put upon; whose mother is cold and selfish and whose father wanted him to play football. Other people didn't get him. Especiall girls. Soon enough the boy comes to believe that no one can ever really know him. He starts acting out, drinking and taking all kinds of drugs. At the end the boy kills himself by jumping over a bridge. The second story was pretty much the same as the first expect at the end the boy kills himself by drinking a bottle of bug poison.

Bruce Almighty

Grace: You still have to go over there, the nurse is waiting.
Bruce: Oh, do I have to?
Grace: Oh, it's not going to hurt. In fact I think you might find it quite pleasurable.

Grace: It's weird. I woke up this morning and I swear my boobs felt bigger. Do they look bigger to you?
Grace: Debbie won the lottery. [...] But I guess so did 400,000 other people, so she only won, like, $17.
Grace: You know that everything happens for a reason.
Grace: Bruce, you promised that you would help me with this photo album. Now, you get your goofy butt over here!
Grace: Oh, no, no, no. Honey, no, no. Oh gosh, please don't put that in your mouth. We don't eat that. Oh, that's not food. Oh, go to the bathroom, please. Wash out your mouth. Wash off your hands. God, I swear that kid is gonna poop an ornament.

Along Came Polly

[not on the DVD nor in the theatrical version] Polly Prince: You wanna come upstairs and have sex? [...] I'm kidding!
Polly Prince: I've been living my life, okay? I've been in good relationships and I've been in shitty ones... and I've moved alot... and I've been happy, and I've been sad... and I've been lonely... and that is what I've been doing. Which is a lot more then I can say for some freak, who thinks he's gonna get the Ebola virus from a bowl of mixed nuts.
Polly Prince: That's not a rat, that's my ferret.
Polly Prince: Well, big deal, Reuben, my dad had a whole second family! [...] Yeah, on Long Island. He had a wife, and kids, and a golden retriever!

Derailed

Lucinda Harris: You're kinda funny, aren't you?
Lucinda Harris: Kiss me.
Lucinda Harris: He threatened he'll take my daughter.
Lucinda Harris: Some people just don't know how to appreciate what they've got.

Rumor Has It...

Sarah: You're not even the most screwed-up person in this room!
Sarah: I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to.
Sarah: Maybe every girl in my family have to sleep with you.

Olivia: I'm a... maid. What?
Mike: You're... you're really a maid?
Olivia: Yeah.
Mike: Can I... watch?

The Break-Up

Brooke Meyers: It's sock, you ***hole!
Brooke Meyers: I think you're just a little embarrassed that Richard kicked your ass.